Δεν είναι η πρώτη φορά που ένας πατέρας μας συγκινεί με την εκκεντρική ιδέα του να εκφράσει την ειλικρινή αγάπη προς τις κόρες του. Γιατί αν μη τι άλλο αν είσαι νέος πατέρας με 4 κόρες λίγο χιούμορ το έχεις ανάγκη για να επιβιώσεις…
Ο Simon Ηοοper από το Λονδίνο έχει 4 κορίτσια, όλα κάτω των 10 ετών. Έχει μια εννιάχρονη, μια εξάχρονη κόρη και δυο δίδυμες 10 μηνών. Αυτός και η γυναίκα του λοιπόν έγιναν πασίγνωστοι όταν άρχισαν να κοινοποιούν στο instagram φωτογραφίες από τη μοναδική καθημερινότητά τους με τα κορίτσια…
1. Nα μην μπορείς να κλείσεις μάτι…
Today I woke up lying next to a girl I love with all my heart – very apt for #valentinesday, expect it wasn’t @mother_of_daughters – like my own personal space, she’d gone ages ago. It was Marnie (who’s obviously been taking pointers from the chinese government) that had infiltrated my boarders & promptly claimed land rights to huge amounts of bed real estate. I woke up choking on a throat full of knotted hair, having been kicked repeatedly in the crotch for the last 2 hours as she dreamt of running with wild horses / kicking penalties – call the doctor & cancel the vasectomy, Marnie took care of it. They say love hurts & I can confirm it does – Mainly around the testes. #lovehurts #ihavetoomanywomentolove #mygirl #FOD #dadlife #instadad #fatherofdaughters
The cornerstone of any dad’s role is the old horse / pig ride but I’m starting to feel more like a mid sized family car with all 4 my girls aboard. Without me really realising, these rides have evolved from what was a cheap fair ground attraction to entertain kids into an in-house Uber service for children who’s legs no longer seem to work from lack of use. They’ve also taken to now simply calling me ‘pig’ and steer me by the twisting of my ears. on top of that, I have to point out imaginary land marks as we go from room to room and if the guided tour isn’t up to scratch, someone will inevitably try and pull my trousers down while I’m in this vulnerable position – usually it’ll be @mother_of_daughters. Am I being bullied? I’m genuinely not sure #the4thatbrokethecamelsback #aremygirlsbullyingme #inhouseuber #luckyivegotagoodass #fatherofdaughters #FOD #instadad #dadlife
Η δημοσίευση κοινοποιήθηκε από το χρήστη Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) στις Δεκ 22, 2016, 12:25μμ PST
3. Όταν πρέπει να γίνεις πειραματόζωο!
Sometimes as a #fatherofdaughters you have to put your testosterone to one side, give in and let girls be girls. So what do you get if you cross bored girls who love makeovers / playing with out of date make up they retrieve from @mother_of_daughters bin & a tired dad who’ll say yes to anything to make them happy / quieter? I introduce you to my drag queen half brother, Simone. You can find him performing cabaret in soho every Thursday. Of course, they then thought it was hilarious to hide the make up remover – Oh, how I laughed. When clemmie saw me, she just shook her head and walked off….. #reallybringsoutmyeyes #whyblueeyebrows #anythingformygirls #snogmarryavoid? #privateshowswillcostyou #FOD #dadlife #instadad
4. Άντε να στρώσεις το κρεβάτι…
Despite being on this planet for 34 years, I still can’t put a duvet into a duvet cover without climbing inside it, or do hospital corners. of course, matters aren’t made any easier when your eldest girls decide this is the perfect opportunity to jump on the bed. For those of you that were asking about the @SimbaSleep mattress, it’s been excellent, & I know that if we didn’t have twins with colds, we’d be sleeping soundly through the night. The added bonus (but perhaps not for the kids), is that because it’s memory foam on top of springs, it’s not too bouncy (Goldilocks would have loved it). They have a 100 day free trial, so click on the link in my bio and give it a go yourself. You won’t go back. #gobounceonyourownbeds #itsjustright #helpwouldbenice #memoryfoamforthewin #whenmykidssleepthroughsowilli #FOD #fatherofdaughters #ad #dadlife #instadad
Η δημοσίευση κοινοποιήθηκε από το χρήστη Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) στις Δεκ 5, 2016, 12:07μμ PST
5. Άπειρες δυνατότητες τα δίδυμα!
This morning we were treated to a private perfromance from some trainee illusionists, (I’m always sceptical of magic involving twins, seems suspicious & lazy, right?). After opening the performance with the regurgitation a plastic letter ‘A’ which she’d swallowed sometime earlier to much applause (& retching), Ottie’s next trick was to place her twin is the ‘cube of eternal darkness’ and make her disappear – the magic words were spoken and poof, like a crap David Blaine, the doors opened to reveal …….. a baby eating an unhealthy amount of packaging paper, accompanied by the strong smell of old broccoli. Well you can’t win they all. A for showmanship, F for execution. #magicalcirclemembersheaint #shitmagic #kidsandboxes #offtohogwartswithyou #magic #FOD #fatherofdaughter #instadad #dadlife
6. Ώρα για δουλειά κηπουρού!
Having driven into central London at 10am this morning in a car that smelt like the inside of an ass thanks to 2 nappies we’d left under the passenger seat all night, we needed fresh air, so I handed out the chores in return for screen time. 1st job, clear up the obscene amount of leaves in the garden (I swear local tree surgeons are fly tipping their shit over our back fence at night). As you can see, Anya was overjoyed. You would have thought I’d asked Anya to repaint all the road markings in Europe. It quickly degenerated into a leaf fight (which I may or may not have started) which was promptly ended by a sharp knock at the window from @mother_of_daughters which was accompanied with a stern stare that would cut through tempered glass. We finished our job with muffled giggles. I love being a kid. #beinganadultisoverrated #toldoff #treesurgeonsiwantanexplantion #job2nextweekend #chores #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad
Η δημοσίευση κοινοποιήθηκε από το χρήστη Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) στις Νοέ 27, 2016, 12:21μμ PST
when you become parents, you don’t notice it, but your house gradually takes on a new aroma. it’s only when guests come round, their faces contort & they ask whether you’d had a fish curry with a side of old ham for dinner, washed down with milk 2 weeks past its use by date, do you realise that you now live with the scent of ‘odour de baby ass’. That said, once and while you come across a natural disaster that makes your nose invert and die. I walked into the twins room today and found this offending article next to an open nappy bin. She smelt like a old pork chop found in a drain – upon removal, she seemed blissfully unaware that she was being lifted by her dungarees and carried on stripping the silcone off a bottle of old milk I’d not cleared up. #myhousesmellsofass #missionimpossibleimpression #porkchopinadrain #neverbedownwind #hazmatsuitrequired #FOD #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad
8. Πόσοι να χωρέσουν…
Getting everyone out the door at the same time is much like making a soufflé, everything has to be timed just right or it all collapses into a mess & results in people being pissed off – So this morning could be summed up as a ramseys kitchen nightmare. The hairband black hole had devoured all 4000 we own, kids refused to put shoes on, all the hair brushes had made a mass exodus to a santuary for maltreated hair care products and the ensuing fight over who sits where in the car had the neighbourhood watch out in force while I bent children in half like human origami. Fun, it was not. #kidsandcars #thesystembrokeandsodidi #fridayfunday #FOD #instadad #dadlife #parenting #twins #fatherofdaughters
Η δημοσίευση κοινοποιήθηκε από το χρήστη Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) στις Ιαν 27, 2017, 12:59μμ PST
9. “Ώρα για ύπνο; Νομίζετε.”
Tonight Anya is having a sleep over so I’ve come home to a house of 6 females. If you listen carefully you can actually hear my masculinity packing up its sad little sack of balls & calling a cab. As I climbed the stairs, pushing aside the sea of lip balms & trainers, the choking stench of old perfume floored me. I opened the door to what looked like the end of a topshop closing down sale that had been held for i phone weilding, sugar high young offender. Upon Ieaving to talk my manliness into not leaving, I heard the word ‘tampons’ shouted after me, followed by cackling laughter & what must have been cats fighting in a bag. Hold that cab masculinity, I’m coming too. #ishouldjustgrowavaginaandgetitoverwith #sleepover #packupmyballsandleave #nosleeptonight #sugarhighoffenders #FOD #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad
10. Συνάντηση με τα μέλη του συμβουλίου!
Clemmie’s out this evening so i was in charge of dinner and bedtime. The traditional picnic plate has been overdone recently (random things chucked on a plate and hoping the kids still find it fun and not see through my laziness) so I really switched it up a Gear and gave them pizza. Just to help service along, I cracked open the bottle of @hernogin i was given for xmas – no, im not despressed or unhappy, I’m just partial to a good gin, however I feel I may have not appreciated this award winning tipple fully though as I accompanied it with cold half chewed pizza i’d rescued from the floor using the international 3 second rule and some flat tonic that had been left open my Anya. And yes I’m drinking out of a childrens bottle. I didn’t put the dishwasher on this morning and now it’s all I can find. We reap what we sow I believe the saying goes. Happy Monday all #aginworthsavouring #dinnertime #couldhavetaughtthemaboutrefractio butdidnt #mondaydrinking #FOD #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad
Η δημοσίευση κοινοποιήθηκε από το χρήστη Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) στις Ιαν 16, 2017, 12:53μμ PST
11. Πρέπει να είναι όλα δύσκολα!
Our last day here in Essaouria so the morning is comprising of eating everything left in the fridge, multiple trips to the cash machine to pay for taxi etc (they don’t like taking card here) and chasing children to try and pack their bags (which we’ll end up doing). Short of leaving one of the kids here, I’m not sure how were going to get all the bowls, rugs and jewelry home – 3D packing tetris, here I come. (I refuse to pay for more bags!) Any way, here’s a a series of videos from the last couple of days that covers most of what we’ve done. It’s been a blast. #3Dpackingtetris #ilaughatluggageallowances #myholssofar #winterbreak #ihavenevereatensomuch #FOD #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife
12. Χαλαρώνουμε τώρα!
Explored today with all the girls (which meant multiple trips back & forth to pick family members up – 8 into a 5 person car just doesn’t work – think varied sized clowns getting out of a mini at the circus and you’re there). Made it to le jardin des douars for lunch & we were immediately the noisiest table (while the beautiful French families shared and played nicely😢 ). Feeling a little embarrassed, we took turns to walk the twins around, returning to gradually colder food each circuit. Finally i went to the family pool with the kids while I insisted the adult ladies went off to the adult pool (I’m sure it was lovely) as they looked a little stressed. Twins refused to sleep so I created an alcatraz style play pen out of sunbeds and damp towels which did the trick for 15 mins when the ladies returned.Pass the gin – I need it! #noitsnotapentacostalpool #baby prison #mykidsdonteatmoroccanfood #christmasholiday #FOD #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife
Η δημοσίευση κοινοποιήθηκε από το χρήστη Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) στις Ιαν 2, 2017, 12:31μμ PST
13. Κουράγιο πατέρα!
They say that in space nobody can hear you scream – well that’s not true at 39,000 ft. I have to apologise to everyone on the flight from Morocco to Luton for my twins who decided to set a impromptu world record for longest / loudest decibel screaming on our flight home – 3 hrs out of a 3.5hr flight. As @mother_of_daughters and I met in the middle with our shrieking offspring, the red of our embarrassed faces was only matched by the blood pouring out of other passengers perforated ear drums. I swear we walked the distance we flew while on the plane. Finally got some silence when i asked a stewardess for 30 single serve UHT milk sachets and put them in a bottle – I’m never travel without milk again! Thanks to our sisters too who helped out massively. Home at 1am in the cold and dark. Back to reality indeed. #nevertravelwithoutmilk #schoolboyerror #doesinsurancecovereardamagefrombabies #sorryeveryone #FOD #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad
Η δημοσίευση κοινοποιήθηκε από το χρήστη Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) στις Ιαν 8, 2017, 12:36μμ PST
14. “Ουσιαστικά ζω σε αυτό το διάδρομο του σούπερ μάρκετ πλέον.”
Another monday, another last minute rush to the shops to avoid the armageddon I.e running out of nappies, wipes & baby crack (milk) for the addicts. I basically live in this aisle of the supermarket now. New parents seem to gravitate to me as an “experienced parent” (i.e. the tired looking guy shivering in the corner) and ask “do you know where so and so is please?” My reponse – “Sure 3rd shelf, half way down on the left hand side, buy 3 & get a discount,although you want to use that in combination with blah blah blah.” I’m like a walking encyclopaedia of baby product info. I used to use my brain to solve global corporate wide problems. I now use it to calculate bulk buy discounts. #ishouldgetanamebadge #bogofking #iliveherenojoke #dadbrain #lifeinthefastlane #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad
Η δημοσίευση κοινοποιήθηκε από το χρήστη Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) στις Νοέ 7, 2016, 12:45μμ PST
15. Αλλά αξίζουν όλα στο τέλος…
After a 3 mile walk this afternoon to get the kids to do something other than watch a screen or pull eachother’s hair until the screaming was too much to bare, we hit the pub and promptly dropped the average age of its clientele by at least 50 years. It seems you need to be over 75 to sit in a pub at 3pm on a weekday. Within 15 minutes, the twins had unwrapped the fake presents under the fake tree in the corner of the pub, while Anya & Marnie did shuttle runs to retrieve them from playing with the electrical sockets. A pint of @thatcherscider Katy later, we were off again in the car to drive back to my parents. I tried to point out landmarks, but they had already donned headphones and we’d lost them to Netflix; I was talking myself again.#alostgeneration #likeherdingcats #countrywalk #netflixparenting #FOD #xmasbreak #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad